dark blue swirls heavy like the sea.
sharp steady lines flow soft like the breeze.
white and blue together as to lovers ringcle the sheets.
rush, crash and calide but still tight and neat
carrieing knollage and wizdom of years before
the night sky joins with daylight like duck till dawn
the spirits live on and on and on
7 comments:
Hey RENATA
Is this a poem? because i really like the way you feel about the painting you choose. when i read your Poem i can imagine what the paintings is all about Renata. "Dark blue swirls heavy like the sea,
sharp steady line flow soft like the breeze."
this Quote here when i first read it, makes me imagine that the painting represents the Ocean! and that when i look at the painting i can see the ocean too.
Shot Bro...
I like what you choose Renata, keep it up!!
your bro LIO THE LION!!!
REQUEST!!! lolz
Hey RENATA
Is this a poem? because i really like the way you feel about the painting you choose. when i read your Poem i can imagine what the paintings is all about Renata. "Dark blue swirls heavy like the sea,
sharp steady line flow soft like the breeze."
this Quote here when i first read it, makes me imagine that the painting represents the Ocean! and that when i look at the painting i can see the ocean too.
Shot Bro...
I like what you choose Renata, keep it up!!
your bro LIO THE LION!!!
REQUEST!!! lolz
kia ora bro
The descriptive text technique I think you have chosen to describe this peice of art seems POETIC with a ROMANTIC AND SPIRITUAL FEEL.
I Thought it sounded Poetic because of the descriptive wording, and romantic how you liken the colours mingling like lovers in between sheets.
Also Im picking up a spiritual feel
with influences from the Maori god
of the sea (TANGAROA) and the Maori god of the wind(TAWHIRIMATEA) in the first 2 lines and the last paragraph where you say " the spirits live on and on.
I love the emotion and energy in this poem and I know this is just a tiny indication of your immense potential as an artist and a poet.
If I where to offer any advice e hoa it would be to use the correct spelling of words thereby conveying thoughts more accurately and doing justice to your beautiful poetry.
kia ora my bro
Kia ora Renata,
Did you write this poem yourself? It's really beautiful! But... don't be afraid to use your friend the spell-checker!
Cheers,
TX
haha thanx guys. Ye i did write it my self and i will ask for help with my spelling i'm not a confident reader or writer? ill work on that for next time.
Leo, your comment is very supportive of Renata and this is good to see. Don't forget to use research to help with your comments. For example were you able to locate any other artists who make work about the Ocean?
Maha,
your comment is excellent. You have included your knowledge of Te Reo as a way of extending the idea further, you have offered your opinion in a professional manner as well as some suggestions for further assistance. These are the sort of elements that make up constructive criticism. Keep up the good work
Hobbs
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